Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Best Birthday Gift Ever

Ok, I have to make a confession. Posting the Best Birthday topic was totally self-serving on my part. Some of you have already heard this story, but, as it's one of my favorites I'm telling it again.

We had moved back to the northwest just a short while before my 40th birthday. About the only person here Margaret knew at the time was our friend Rhonda. So they went out for drinks. With several of Rhonda's friends.

The next day I received an email from Rhonda. She explained something to the effect of, "Shawn, Margaret explained that for your 40th birthday you were hoping to have a threesome and since I'm trying to get pregnant she approached me about it. While I really like you guys and all I'm afraid this would have a negative impact on our friendship so I'm going to have to pass." I should point out that I was reading this at work, in a shared office space. And that I have a really good poker face. I was however mortified.

How in hell was I going to look Rhonda in the face the next time we got together? Could we all just brush it off as something said under the influence of one too many Manhattans and move on? Yeah actually, probably so. Then another email. This one was from one of Rhonda's friends whom I had met also over drinks a couple of weeks earlier. She too was turning me down for a threesome and was equally understanding of the situation and equally apologetic. By the time the third email arrived I was nearly in tears from trying not to laugh out loud and have to explain myself to my new coworkers. Over the next couple of days I received more mails each an escalation in lewd, lascivious and explicit scenarios from women, men and at least one married couple. And each turning me down for a threesome. Pretty sure I had tears running down my face by the end.

With the first email or two I was stunned Margaret would even think to propose such a thing. By the end I was humbled at her depth of deviousness to orchestrate such a plan. Best birthday gift ever.

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